...that's what she said.

Is the phrase of all phrases. Somewhere within the past five to ten years, somebody decided that this particular phrase/saying was funny, I admit, the first time I heard it, it was funny. After the millionth time hearing it… not so much. I am sure the guy (because it had to have been a guy) who wittily conceived this saying was in some dorm, on a three day drinking binge, eating Twinkies, and smoking pot; respectively. And we do live in America so he is probably a millionaire for it (since our favorite pastime is to over-pay someone for their ignorance for example, Antoine Dobson- Google it). So who do we really idolize? Of course, we would say the appropriate thing that we should say. “I idolize/respect (the person that I am supposed to say God, my parents, my teachers, etc.).” If we honest though most people would just idolize crude or derogatory things because that’s what gets a good laugh or makes them feel good about themselves. So just go ahead and say it “I heart ignorance”.

So why did this become so popular? The same reason why any crude joke or phrase becomes popular. It is offensive and derogatory and someone in society decided that issues and situational jokes like that are funny or catchy. Maybe it was to lighten the mood of the severity of the issues. Women have always seemed to be the butt of all offensive sexual jokes. The era of “…that’s what she said.” Has long died; the guys just did not get the memo. My personal belief is that the wittiness of it, strokes their ego. Unfortunately, it was someone else’s wit, on a drunken night, so really? Get over yourselves and try to be original.

“Has it become annoying?” Of course. Is it because I am a girl and take offense to it? Probably. It is just overplayed. I have on numerous occasions tried to have a conversation with someone and they “being witty”, used that saying to the reply to everything. I am sure with the evolution of the internet you could find something…anything, that can be your new funny thing to say. Or if all else fails, use your brain. I know it is in there somewhere.

“…that’s what she said.” is not funny anymore. It has been worn, beaten, and left for dead; the guys just keep on trying to revive it. “Will it eventually die?” Of course, all things die. “Will we live to see it?” Probably not, but I would hate to be labeled a pessimist. So, when you are at the hotdog shop and you say, “That was the best hotdog! It really hit the spot!” and the douche bag sitting next to you says “…that’s what she said.” Just punch him in the face. Do not feel bad about it; just look at it as population control…that’s what I say.

The Proclamation of Me

Yep...that's it.

Education

Education in America is slowly crumbling. America, at one time, produced well-educated and dedicated individuals. Now, we are giving “slackers” a free ride just to get them out; only to recycle them with more slackers. Our testing score, especially in Georgia, are ridiculously low (though I do not particularly like the standardized test approach) and our students have other priorities that unfortunately do not include education. In twenty years, these will be the men and women that somehow have become our future. This is terrifying! The effects of this could be devastating for our future as well as theirs. Without some form of education you cannot get to far in life. Of course, there are the Bill Gates of the world, who dropped out of college to be an entrepreneur and that worked out in his favor. But how many Bill Gates do you know? I know a lot more Jays’ and Silent Bobs’.

Many of our current high school students are getting a free ticket to the diploma freeway. I have heard of many instances where a student is unruly and because of this, they are pushed through the system only to graduate with maybe a sixth grade education. This is not what education was founded on! Once upon a time, students respected teachers and enjoyed the aspect of learning. The effects the new era of diploma freeway will come back and bite us in the butt, believe that. We are coming into the age of “McDonaldization. ” when this happens it will basically mean that the majority of our working force is quite eligible to work in a minimum wage, production line, “May I help you?” job for the rest of their lives. Educated people with the drive to succeed will prove to be far more scarce and in between. The few times I have been “privileged” enough to walk through the doors of my high school has been like walking through the Stargate. “Where the hell am I?” The students are dressed as if they are going to the club directly after school and there is always some sort of yelling, bickering, or drama. In their eyes, school has nothing to do with education anymore. It has evolved into a fashion show, a social networking and hangout site and a bad episode of Jerry. Or for others, a street corner, where they can buy narcotics or other illegal substances and have the full ability to walk around high for eight hours and be sober by the time they get home.

The educational system will not change without drastic measures. It will probably mean a lot of teenage, hormone induced, riots. Be that as it may, something needs to be done. The teachers and administrators do not control the students anymore. The only way they have been able to deal with them is by pushing them along the freeway. This is not the answer! We have to figure out another way to get in the students heads. We have to explain to them that they are the future and what they do today effects us tomorrow.

Save the Girls

Of all the countries in the world, America is the worst when it comes to (wait for it…) boobs. We set double standards when it comes to the girls. Yes, they want you to “Save the Ta-Tas,” but make sure while you are saving them that you also keep them hidden, especially if you are on the heavy side. I am not condoning indecent exposure; however, when a woman cannot feed her child without getting dirty looks, that is wrong. Society also has a habitual tendency to let some things slide while condemning others for far less, for instance, the Playtex commercial versus a Victoria Secret’s commercial (which I will elaborate on later). We are teaching our young women that if you are skinny, flaunt it. If you are considered plus size, do everyone a favor and cover up. And we wonder why our teenagers and young adults have body image issues.
Recently, there was a lot of controversy over a Playtex commercial. It was the one with plus size girls in their bras. It was a perfectly harmless commercial; to be honest, it was refreshing to see plus size women so happy to be in their own skin. People were offended by this! They claimed they showed too much skin. I have seen more skin on Dancing with the Stars then in this commercial. What people really meant to say is that they did not think it was appropriate because of these women’s weights. How vain have we become? We are perfectly fine to watch Victoria Secret’s commercials all day. Is it because those models are more of what society says we should look like? They wear far less clothes then our friends at Playtex, but society overlooks that.
With all the controversy, what are we telling our young girls? “You are heavy so cover up.” Or, “You are skinny so let’s see what you got.” This is wrong. We are all equal, and we have to learn to stop judging people based on appearance or weight. A woman should be able feed her child anywhere without feeling self-conscious of her body, not to mention a lot of people staring as if they have never seen the phenomenon of motherhood. With the rise of anorexia, bulimia, and other self-destructive behaviors, isolating the plus size girls can be devastating for other girls that look up to them. Sixty percent of adults are overweight in America. You would think the Playtex girls would have been embraced. I am not saying obese people are better or skinny people are better. What I am getting at is that we are all different shapes and sizes, and we should respect that. Simple words or actions could be what could bring these girls over the edge to self-destruction of their bodies and their souls.
Somewhere over the past twenty years, America has decided that curvy is fat. Look back at the iconic Bettie Page. She was curvy and beautiful. Or Marilyn Monroe, size 12. The Playtex girls are also curvy and beautiful. Beauty is more than what is on the outside (cliché I know). A flower is beautiful, but an old oak tree is just as beautiful. That being said, even a beautiful girl can be ugly by what’s inside. Society labels and pegs people into different categories, and after they are labeled it is a pretty rough road to lose that label. We are “training” our future to act in the same manner. Our goal should be to get away from that line of thinking and to start loving people because they are people and not what kind of people we might think they look like. I know the thought of everyone loving everyone is a bit idealistic. We have got stop being hypercritical and learn to love it all. Love the “ta-tas.” Love the curves. Love the plus size and the skinny size – and love ourselves.

2040

In thirty years, life on Earth will be very different then what we are used to. Right now, we are accustomed to a post-industrial society. Everything we do in our everyday life has technology involved in some shape or form. I believe that the technology will only become more complex over the next thirty years. In thirty years, I predict, Earth will be technologically more advanced. This will lead to more robots, less jobs, and more control from the government.

On Earth, primarily in America, people are generally lazy. This will be the basis of the robotic era. Earth already has many robotic type machines that ultimately do the work for us. Most car manufacturing distributors no longer have humans making vehicles. Robots are cheaper, more efficient, and do not complain about long hours. This is great for the capitalists of the world and future robots; however, it is a disaster for the working class.

With the increase of machinery, a lot more people will suffer loss of jobs. Losing a job is damaging to the workers self-esteem, and in thirty years we will find many more people clinically depressed, over medicated, or incarcerated. The crime rate will increase, because people will be desperate to support their families. People will feel helpless and feel like they have lost control. This would be around the same time robots and the government will decide to take over the world.

In 2040, the government will control everything that goes on around us. They do to a large extent now and even in areas we are not aware of. Our armies will be composed of combat robots. This is a good thing because robots are expendable and I would rather lose a robot soldier that a real soldier with a real family. The only aspect of this that concerns me is that the government will have control of these warrior robots. This could be devastating if used in inappropriate ways. If Switzerland decides not to share its cheese with the cheese-loving general, he might send Optimus Prime to mess them up! If the state of Georgia decides to vote Republican again, we are goners. The control of the government will mean less control form us. We will lose our constitutional rights and gain robotic animosity.

2040 will be a tough time for Earth. It will juggle a robotic empire, deal with irate individuals with no jobs, and be taken over by a spineless, emotionless and heartless government and of course the robots. In thirty years, I will be almost sixty years old. Probably still alive (crosses fingers) and also potentially jobless. The thought of all this, sounds like it could be the next blockbuster hit of a predicable apocalyptic movie. Society underestimates the reality of it. We are like teenagers, invincible, never acknowledging that bad things can happen to us. It is very possible and likely that in thirty years, robots will be apart of our everyday life; good or bad. Yes, you will lose your job to a machine and of course robots (controlled by the government) are going to rule the world. "Roll out!"

A Bad Day

In general, people have a proportioned amount of luck. For example, people might have a flat tire in the morning, but, by the time they arrive home, they have had some sort of luck during the day that pulled them out of their own defeat. I, however, do not have this natural luck or the ability to be pulled out of my own defeat. I tend to grovel in it. My worst day ever will live in infamy. It was filled with death, explosions, and meteors. I do not know how I survived it, but I do know that I will never be the same because it.

The morning started eerily ominous. You could feel death in the air. I brushed my teeth and then proceeded to go feed my fish Geraldo. Geraldo and I go way back. He was given to my parents the day I was born. Twenty-four years later we shared an apartment together. As I approached the fish bowl, I witnessed a horrific sight – Geraldo was floating at the top. I rushed to the tank frantically, but it was too late. He was already gone. I sat with him and cried for hours. I did not know how I was going to carry on without my dear friend. I finally worked up the courage to get dressed to bury Geraldo. As we were leaving, I buckled him in the seatbelt one last time. It hurt; this was the end for the both of us.

Shortly after pulling out on the interstate, heading toward the pet cemetery, I smelled a strange, burning smoke coming out of the engine. Naturally, I pulled over to investigate. As I popped open the hood of my 1924 Model T, flames jumped out and engorged my car. I ran over to save the corpse of my Geraldo, but once again I was too late. The car exploded. Geraldo was officially a crispy fish stick. The firemen came to came to the rescue to extinguish the fire. Traffic was backed up for miles, and I could hear random shouts and yells from all directions, cursing me for the inconvenience I was causing them. I wish I had the strength in me to let them know I was already cursed – this day had made sure of that – but I couldn’t. I had been defeated for a second time.

I had only made it a few miles before my car and my fish died, so, with my head hung low, I started my journey home. The walk was lonely. I cried and walked. I couldn’t remember a day as bad as this day had been. It was one thing after another, without even a chance to regain a sense of stability or reality. A few blocks away from my apartment I could smell burning (again). I smelled my clothes thinking the remembrance of my car might have been lingering. No, that was not it. As I drew closer to my apartment, I began to see reporters, fire trucks, and a N.A.S.A. van. With adrenaline running through my body, I ran over to find out what was going on. To my awe my apartment was not there, only remains of it, scattered across the road. Nobody would talk to me because it was all a top secret phenomenon that had just happened. As I listened to the nosy neighbor Mrs. Manycats, I discovered that a meteor had hit my apartment, destroying everything! This was by far the worst day ever!

Admitting defeat I went to stay at my parents’ house indefinitely. I went to bed just out of shear depression, and when I woke up it almost seemed like it all had to be a very bad nightmare – there is no way someone could have that much bad luck consistently in one day. Regaining my consciousness, I realized it was possible, and it did happen. This day changed my life; it was filled with death, explosions, and meteors. I survived it, and I will never take any fish, car, or apartment for granted again.



The attack of the Gas Station Bathrooms

I am afraid of many things I encounter. When I was younger I was afraid of Freddy Kruger. When I got older it was the fear of getting "caught" doing whatever I was doing wrong. As an adult, I am afraid to get bad grades. Throughout my years the fear of gas station bathrooms has always stayed with me. I am sure it started as a young child. We would travel nineteen hours about once a year to visit relatives. Obviously, there were many restroom stops with three young children. I have never had a bad experience in one of these death machines; but, I am sure if you do the research you would discover that all sexually transmitted diseases, bacterial, and viral infections are bred there. They are greasy and smell like an old person once lived there and then died. It is gross.

Gas station bathrooms are all the same. What I really fear is the fact that they have a cleaning chart that is to be initialed when it has been cleaned of its infectious bio-waste. In theory, this is a wonderful idea, but the problem is it is never signed or signed two weeks ago. Which means you and every trucker has sat on the same seat for the past two weeks without any sign of Clorox ever touching the seat! (You are now allowed to stand up and puke; I will be here when you return). I recently had the opportunity to visit one of the old style kind of set up; the bathroom on the outside of the building that you have to access by a key because it is so special and fancy. When I entered the bathroom I knew it had to be the scene of an old horror movie. There were yellowish and reddish stains in places that just did not make sense. I had to dodge spiders and old cobwebs, and I am sure that had I been brave enough to look around the corner there would have been a pile of dead corpses.

Gas station bathrooms are infecting the world with their gross and dirty environments. You find one of these bathrooms in a “convenient” store. How often do you hear someone say “Hey, do you want to go to the store? I conveniently need to contract some crazy disease!” They lure us in with their convenience and then send us back on the road with whatever microscopic monster that is growing in the stalls of the bathroom.

Bathrooms are gross and scary. We let our bodily functions control us and it requires us to use these dirty bathrooms, In short, I fear gas station bathrooms. Not only for what they grow but for what they represent. I would rather have Freddy Kruger catch me doing something wrong and then chase me down with my report card that reveals all F’s than spend another moment of my life in a gas station bathroom.

Trying new things round 54...

So I actually opened my blogspot account almost a year ago. I had the intent on writing often and saying profound and awesome things that would give others the ability to get to know Bethany and not just the pizza girl, that girl in my class, the girl I went school with, or Josh's wife. I actually wrote all of two things...One I deleted because it was New Years Resolution and the remembrance of once again something I didn't see through is to much to take at the moment.

Once again, I am going to attempt my blogging endeavors. Why you ask? Well, I have been inspired to write mainly because of my ENGL1101 has slowly started to convince me that I do have the capability to write and be good at it. The other reason is because I am surrounded by awesome people...with awesome blogs...and its inspiring <3!

My new goal is to let everyone get to know me and everything important in my life that makes it what it is.

Luvs.

Bethany-isms.

So yes I think I am special enough to qualify my own personal -isms:

1. fear of drinking milk in the summer; it WILL curl in my stomach
2. Random made up words to input into a conversation or comment
3. I don't separate laundry into to colors or fabrics which apparently is weird, who would of thought.
4. I am an un-organized organizer
5. My dryer is a monster who's sole diet is socks.
6. Me and cooking have a love/hate relationship

Honestly, I thought I had a lot more than just six! I am sure I will think of some my the time I finish publishing this. Feel free to add any if you can think of some.

Much Love.