The attack of the Gas Station Bathrooms

I am afraid of many things I encounter. When I was younger I was afraid of Freddy Kruger. When I got older it was the fear of getting "caught" doing whatever I was doing wrong. As an adult, I am afraid to get bad grades. Throughout my years the fear of gas station bathrooms has always stayed with me. I am sure it started as a young child. We would travel nineteen hours about once a year to visit relatives. Obviously, there were many restroom stops with three young children. I have never had a bad experience in one of these death machines; but, I am sure if you do the research you would discover that all sexually transmitted diseases, bacterial, and viral infections are bred there. They are greasy and smell like an old person once lived there and then died. It is gross.

Gas station bathrooms are all the same. What I really fear is the fact that they have a cleaning chart that is to be initialed when it has been cleaned of its infectious bio-waste. In theory, this is a wonderful idea, but the problem is it is never signed or signed two weeks ago. Which means you and every trucker has sat on the same seat for the past two weeks without any sign of Clorox ever touching the seat! (You are now allowed to stand up and puke; I will be here when you return). I recently had the opportunity to visit one of the old style kind of set up; the bathroom on the outside of the building that you have to access by a key because it is so special and fancy. When I entered the bathroom I knew it had to be the scene of an old horror movie. There were yellowish and reddish stains in places that just did not make sense. I had to dodge spiders and old cobwebs, and I am sure that had I been brave enough to look around the corner there would have been a pile of dead corpses.

Gas station bathrooms are infecting the world with their gross and dirty environments. You find one of these bathrooms in a “convenient” store. How often do you hear someone say “Hey, do you want to go to the store? I conveniently need to contract some crazy disease!” They lure us in with their convenience and then send us back on the road with whatever microscopic monster that is growing in the stalls of the bathroom.

Bathrooms are gross and scary. We let our bodily functions control us and it requires us to use these dirty bathrooms, In short, I fear gas station bathrooms. Not only for what they grow but for what they represent. I would rather have Freddy Kruger catch me doing something wrong and then chase me down with my report card that reveals all F’s than spend another moment of my life in a gas station bathroom.